Everything & Nothing
It was everything and then
Nothing”
In the garden
We strolled side to side
Synchronized in the feeling
But you were sent away
Two decades before my time
And I spent them just searching
For your drum
And I found you at the top of the mountains
And I swore I’d never let you go
I saw your face in the fire
Burning hard and your loving soul
But this was never the place for
These words nor was it the time
Still I’m everywhere
When you’re alone
When they love me
They let me go
When I love them
They pull me down
And when we fall together
It’s a tragedy
Tell me I
Don’t have to wait
For you
Too long
Morning, Be Kind (Ell’s Lullaby)*
We swore not to close our eyes
Too scared to miss a moment
We stayed up till the sunrise
And when the daylight had won over
And all the night had turned to dust
You cursed that time went by too quickly
That it was not enough
Remember when you drifted into sleep
How afraid I was
You’d leave me with your eyes closed
In your sleep I wasn’t the one you chose
So I hold on to your hand
And I sang into your ear
When you slowly smiled
I knew
I know in years I might forget
Your silhouette in the dark
And the smell of your t-shirt
And all the counted stars
But, darling, with your arms around me
And your nose against my neck
I felt the synchronized beatings
Of our hearts in my head
Remember when you asked me
If I’d love you in the morning still
When numbers weren’t just numbers
And the world would start looking in
So I’d hold your hand
Kiss your eyes and kiss your palms
And I swear
Living for you
is easy living
It’s easy to live
When you’re in love
And I’m so in love
There’s nothing in life but you
I’ll never regret
The years I’m giving
They’re easy to give
When you’re in love
And I’m so in love
There’s nothing in life but you
For you
Maybe I’m a fool but it’s fun
People say you have me with just one
Wave of your hand, darling, it’s grand
They just don’t understand that
Living for you
is easy living
It’s easy to live
When you’re in love
And I’m so in love
There’s nothing in life but you
I swear I had fallen deep
In love with you
Reprobate
I am the poison on your lips
The bitterness on your tongue
Won’t you come along now
I am your cyanide
I am the wrestling in your sheets
The smoke within your lungs
Won’t you come along now I am your pure denial
The ignorance in your mind
Whenever I walk by
When I come along
I am your reprobate
I am the love you cannot give
Darling, you’re losing your sleep
While I lose my mind
I am your universe
I am the stars within your eyes
The dust within your veins
Won’t you just give in now
I am your favorite curse
And all the words in between
Poetic and profane
Won’t you let me in now
I am the longing
That creeps up when we’re apart
I am the guilt in your heart
Won’t you come along now
I am your reprobate
I am the love you cannot give
But then you asked for me gone
Why would you ask for me gone?
Said you needed me gone
Sad (Friends with Walls)
These floors and walls
They’re looking in on my weakest hour
I called it once my weakest hour
Called it twice my self-devour
These floors and walls
They’d all complain
They can’t relate
To the words running off my tongue again
My fancy words make me sound complicated
When honestly I’m just sad
And I’m being tested
With my goddamn patience
Being asked about my concepts and noises
Being hurt by the loved and closest
Second-placed by the first and highest
Being teased about my younger age
Regardless of the things I had faced
Surrounded by the ones I thought I knew
When I’ve never felt so alone
Baby I couldn’t care less about your thoughts now
Darling I wish I cared less about your words now
And honey I wish I meant more to you now
Baby I, darling I am just that sad
If I gave it all
These floors and walls
They’re looking in on my weakest hour
I called it once my weakest hour
Called it twice my self-devour
These floors and walls
They’d all complain
They can’t relate
To the words running off my tongue again
My fancy words make me sound complicated
When honestly I’m just sad
Why am I Not Enough?
Over the valleys of your palms
Memorize all the ridges
And the scars on your arms
All I want to do is trace your writing
And engulf your pain
Soothe your recurring thoughts and the beating in your brain
As if it were enough
This lingering tough
Oh, aren’t I enough?
Darling, I gave you my love
All I ever see is the irritation
On the skin of your face
All i hear is the sound
Of your truth being replaced
And you’d say “don’t come close”
But your eyes so don’t go far
You would be standing there
I’d still wonder who you are
And you may be be standing there
I’d still wonder where you are
Oh, aren’t I enough
To reconsider
What is enough
To keep you closer
And when the going gets rough
Why would you run
Oh, aren’t I enough?
Darling, I gave you my love
I’m aware these words mean nothing now
I know too well this voice is just a sound
My body won’t rest without your warmth
The home I’d found
Still, I am aware these words mean nothing now
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I’d ask
Are we alright?
Are we okay?
If I stand under the sun
You won’t stand next to me
I’m never enough